Zero Kisses for Me

Image of Zero Kisses for Me
Release Date: 
November 8, 2010
simon &
Reviewed by: 

Sometimes all those kisses from all those people who think you are just so cute can get annoying. Such is the dilemma facing a toddler kitty who has simply had enough in Zero Kisses for Me. Solution: a ban on all kisses!

“I’m too big for kisses!” s/he declares emphatically. The reasoning behind this is stated pretty clearly in a way lots of kids can understand, especially those who fight the urge to duck and cover every time Grandma or Auntie or Bigger Sibling’s Best Friend comes in for the kill, er, kiss:

“By the end of the day, I’m worn-out with kisses.”
“I’m tired of being
everybody’s tootsy-wootsy,
everybody’s huggy-bear,
everybody’s kissy-snooks.

Mom, in all her wisdom, does not try to fight this bit of toddler pique. As she likes to give goodnight kisses, she guesses, “I’ll have to make do with kissing Bunny,” her child’s favorite stuffed animal. Virginie Soumagnac’s expressive ink and color illustrations hit home with perfect representations of capricious childhood emotion and unceasing parental patience and forbearance.

Then comes nighttime.
And sleeplessness.
All alone.
In the dark.
Really dark.

You can guess the ending. Zero Kisses for Me will delight toddlers who are in that terrible stage of their lives where everything is a quandary because they need us parents—but they really wish they didn’t.