Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
“An interesting aspect raised in the book is the role that adoption agencies . . . play in placing children. Sisson presents research about their actions that include persuading, coercing, cajoling, and threatening women with various outcomes if they do not place the baby for adoption.”
Relinquished is a fascinating book that takes readers on a deep dive into the world of adoption. Long believed to be the perfect counterargument to abortion rights, Gretchen Sisson presents an opposing view revealing that adoption may be more smoke and mirrors rather than the panacea many see.
Relinquished goes behind the feel-good fluff and, through anecdotal recitations, discusses why adoption may not be the best way to proceed. Some women have second thoughts or regrets while others see adoption as their best option.
The book deals only with the placement of babies. Discussions about placing older children, the foster care system, and surrogacy is not discussed.
What becomes clear is there are no easy answers. From any perspective making the decision to place a child for adoption is not easy—nor should it be. The women making these decisions are often young, poor, and frequently see no alternative. Most have no access to competent legal assistance, and they do not understand their rights or other options.
An interesting aspect raised in the book is the role that adoption agencies, often affiliated with various religious organizations, play in placing children. Sisson presents research about their actions that include persuading, coercing, cajoling, and threatening women with various outcomes if they do not place the baby for adoption.
What makes the whole process appear even more insidious is the role played by nonprofit adoption agencies, lawyers, social service agencies, and the courts. One cannot read the book without thinking that the women whose stories are being told are viewed by all the aforementioned entities as mere conduits for providing healthy white babies for a cadre of the public who cannot, for whatever reason, generate their own children.
An interesting side story involves whether non-white babies should not be placed with adoptive parents from a different racial background. More needs to be written about this with an answer to the question of what happens to the children if there are no prospective adoptive parents who match the child's racial or cultural background. Are those children relegated to a life languishing in the foster care system? Is that in the child's best interests? The issue needs more than the cursory overview provided in the book.
The author discusses the fantasy of “open adoptions” through which the birth mother maintains contact with the child through an agreement with the adoptive parents. Not surprisingly, these “open adoptions” rarely work, and the agreements are unenforceable. Because adoption is created by statute, and they control the entire process, those statutes rarely include provisions to enforce private promises or agreements unenforceable. There is no leeway.
Sisson also discusses whether children who are adopted can find their birth parents. Opening adoption records is a fairly new development. Most states have a process to facilitate contact, but not everyone participates. And privacy concerns would appear to prevent mandatory participation.
There are organizations working to change the adoption process. The term “adoption abolition” is used but, apparently, means reforming the process rather than prohibiting the practice. Since the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health women's reproductive rights have become more important. Abolishing adoption would further restrict a women's rights.
Sisson argues that the existing adoption model is obsolete and operates under a system of oppression and coercion. She sees children treated as commodities that fulfill the family-making wishes of more privileged people.
Sisson seems to cover all the salient issues involving adoption. But adoption is not the only legal process that needs addressing. Surrogacy (international and domestic) is legitimately coming under increasing scrutiny. And assisted reproductive technology, that uses donated eggs and sperm, needs to be more fully discussed, especially regarding the rights of any ensuing child to claim inheritance rights from the donor. The “unknown donor” is no longer a viable concept.
What becomes clear is that legal issues affecting families are complex and complicated. Careful thought and deliberation need to be given to adoptions and the laws that govern the process, at the same time avoiding traditional knee-jerk reactions.
This absorbing book deals with a subject ignored by most people, but that affects or will affect more people than anyone thinks.