The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships
We live in a world in which relationship norms are continuously changing and evolving. The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships offers us a safe port where we can take a moment to break down our beliefs and repetitive patterns in relationships, and help us reconstruct love notions based on self-knowledge and self-love.
Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. and HeatherAsh Amara are both world-famous, bestselling authors who have helped many couples reclaim their magic and fire. Their latest book is filled with Toltec wisdom and offers readers a rich and new perspective on relationships, all the while guiding us out of our fears and limitations.
This self-help book is structured in three sections. The first presents the foundational secrets of commitment, freedom, and awareness. The second section is about healing, joy and communication. The final section deals with the secret of release.
Like a shamanic journey, The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships begins by opening doors, by holding space for us to discover new realms, and by healing parts of ourselves that were in the dark. Written in a fluid and honest tone, readers find themselves quickly immersed in interesting personal stories, ancient wisdom, and modern teachings.
Chapter 5, The Secret of Joy, helps couples rekindle their relationship and broaden their horizons. In the Toltec tradition, all people are artists and being in a relationship is a very creative process. “Whenever you are feeling dried up and depleted,” the authors advise, “the trick is to bring the power of creativity back into your partnership.”
This chapter encourages couples to learn about the three p’s: permission, presence, and practice. “These tools help us undo any mental blocks and old domestications we have about sex, revitalize and energize our sex lives with our partners, and bring joy to our relationship in the process,” explain the authors.
Throughout the book, we are introduced to key Toltec concepts, such as the notion of “awareness,” “beginner’s mind,” and “the angel of death.” Each concept brings a spiritual depth to the seven secrets and allows readers to become more conscious of their illusions, masks, and bad patterns in love.
The authors also underline an important notion in maintaining healthy relationships, that of being vulnerable; “Vulnerability in communication occurs when you share your wants, needs, and fears openly and honestly. Just as important, it entails actively remaining open as you listen to your partner’s wants, needs, and fears in return.”
If people learn to speak with vulnerability, then relationships can become more transparent, solid, and lasting, but our society is not one that encourages such values. Instead, we learn to use words as weapons and hurt the ones we love rather than speak with an open heart.
Don Miguel Ruiz. Jr and HeatherAsh Amara also help the reader to understand the importance of being present in the now. We often take each other for granted, and this is especially true in relationships; “Although you may not often think of it this way, the truth is that you, your partner, and everyone else in the world is changing every day. Sometimes these changes are trivial, sometimes they are momentous; but couples in happy, healthy relationships embrace this constant of change rather than fight it.”
Anyone who is in a relationship or looking for the right partner should read this book to shed light on their “shadow self” and offer creative new solutions to old problems that don’t seem to want to die.