Out of the Woods: A Memoir of Wayfinding
"Out of the Woods is a heartfelt memoir..."
Author Lynn Darling finds herself discombobulated when her only child Zoe leaves for college. A widow for more than a decade, Ms. Darling contemplates how she will spend the rest of her life. For so many years she has played the role of wife and mother, and now middle aged at 56 with no attachments to tie her down she is free to do whatever her heart tells her.Ms. Darling experiences a sort of claustrophobia in her New York City apartment, and she decides to relocate to Woodstock, Vermont. Many years prior, she had attended her stepdaughter's wedding in Barnard, approximately 10 miles from Woodstock, and she was enthralled by the countryside, which reminded her of childhood summers spent in a tiny New Hampshire town where her father was raised.
When Zoe turned eight and began attending summer camp, the thought of spending July in an uncooled apartment in the hot city proved unappealing to Ms. Darling. So she rented a cottage in Vermont to enjoy solitude and the beauty of the area. Her summer migrations motivated her to buy a small home she named “Dismal Castle” located in the forest of Woodstock. “I wanted to gather the tools that would enable me to grow old with grace,” comments Ms. Darling as she commences her odyssey.
Someone known to get lost in her own backyard, Ms. Darling is challenged by her vast and wooded property, as well as her small, eclectic home, half furnished and far from civilization—much different from the noisy, boisterous city. In the beginning she finds the solitude unsettling, and a lethargy and despondency overtake her. Ms. Darling wants a dog for companionship, so she buys a puppy she names Henry. She hopes Henry will lift her from her apathy, but the two get off to a rough start. Henry is distant and unwilling to bond or follow any commands. Ms. Darling and Henry often take walks through the woods and as she glorifies the beauty of nature the anxiety and depression falls from her. One day, they get lost. They walk for hours, both exhausted, and Lynn becomes filled with the fear of never being found—which then morphs into anger.
“I was angry because I no longer possessed the optimism and the elasticity that had made getting lost a delight, and if I could no longer lose myself, this troublesome burdensome self, in the way I most loved, then I did not know what to do.” She equates getting lost with Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief.
Circumstances change and Ms. Darling finds herself needing to return to the city often. As she conquers her dilemma, Ms. Darling admits she is sick of being alone, of the isolation, and of the difficulty of living in a house lacking the amenities many take for granted. The more she hates her life in her home, the more she finds she loves it, too. She has found friends and become familiar with her cantankerous residence and its shortcomings. But is this enough to keep her in Vermont?
Out of the Woods is a heartfelt memoir portraying what many feel upon reaching middle age and finding themselves alone and adrift. Ms. Darling digs deep into her psyche to address her own wants, needs, and desires. Metaphors and similes abound, as well as several references from literature targeting these same thoughts and feelings. Though parts tend to drag, the general story and its explorations are quite readable.