After Visiting Friends: A Son's Story

“. . . a poignant tale of a search for answers and the determination of a loving son to know a parent . . .”

It is heartbreaking to lose a parent who has grown old, but it’s more traumatic for a parent to die when you are a child. This is what happens to Michael Hainey and his brother, Christopher, ages six and eight respectively, in 1970.

On that fateful day, Michael’s Uncle Dick arrives at their house early to announce the death of his father, Robert. Thirty-five-year-old Robert “Bob” Hainey, a well-known and highly respected newspaper man, has reportedly succumbed to a heart attack. Michael tries to find answers as to the cause of his dad’s death, but his mom shuts down and will not speak of him.

As Michael ages, this mystery still haunts him. He follows in his father’s footsteps in the field of journalism where he is taught to find the who, what, where, when, and why of things. Michael, nearing the age his father was at his death, sets out on a long journey to discover who the real Bob Hainey was and to answer the many questions about his passing.

Michael’s discussions with his mother prove futile. His uncle does not offer any insight, either, and Michael is puzzled by the obituary stating Bob was visiting friends when he died. Who were these people, and why would Bob be seeing them in the wee hours of the morning? After reading several obituaries, Michael discovers many disturbing contradictions, which pique his curiosity even more.

Determined to find the answers he seeks and after many fruitless dead ends, Michael does learn some truths—truths that cause him to question who Robert Hainey really was.

This memoir is a poignant tale of a search for answers and the determination of a loving son to know a parent he had for a short period of time. He learns truths not only about his family, but also of the old commitment to each other newsmen once shared—and the secrets they kept together.